Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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