my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
