guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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