He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
