he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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