Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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