your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize