Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
