Sry I called you an 8
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
