i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
