my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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