i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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