can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
