Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
