my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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