DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
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The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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