i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up under a house in Key West
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
