The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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