i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
