I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
