i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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