I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
