don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
