I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
