i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
