apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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