We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
