Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
