So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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