Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
