she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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