i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
