Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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