You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
