when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
