Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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