Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
