i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
