Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
