if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
