this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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