either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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