"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
