why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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