I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
