she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
