Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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