just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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