Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
