I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
