bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
