Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
