Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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