turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
