Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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