so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
