he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
