This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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