You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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