Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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