East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just tell him i said nine months
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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