Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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