You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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