awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
