so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
