I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
